言いたい放題


by pussochkram85

one year past

it is still difficult to realise that it is already a year past since I came to Tokyo.
I read back what I wrote when I started the job, and then looking back, I'm still the same, me.I'm still scared, I'm still worried about things. may be things could be different from then, but myself is not changing.
What has been changed was my attitude towards God and others, perhaps.
I started to hear from people that I am calmed down a little compare to when I was a student. Of course, the fatigue I have from day-to-day work may make myself a bit calmer and less energetic, but I also kinda know what they are talking about.
I myself is also realising that I started to think more carefully and rather realistically these days. this could mean a good thing, but sometimes it felt like as if I am losing that passion towards God. However, God, has never failed anything for whole this year. How far away I run away from Him, He was there, waiting for me to come back and when I came back he brought me loads and loads of blessings. Countless forgiveness and grace is almost choking my neck, but rather gently and the tiny path of the air on my throat was cleared out by the tears dropped by Lord.
I was challenged, I was asked, and I must admit, I felt like as if I was standing alone on certain situation. That was wrong. God was there, He was there, carrying me on his back, like the well known poem, the Footprint.

So what I want to say, is that believing in Jesus and God who created me with a great great plan, is the best thing that could ever happened to me.
and I am thankful that I am still in love with Lord. May He never let me go.
[PR]
# by pussochkram85 | 2011-09-24 22:06 | 神と歩む

we do not lose heart



"Therefore, since through God's mercy we have this ministry, we do not lose heart."
2 Corinthians 4:1

What shocks me about God is He is ALIVE.
I went to the church today, with my usual problem I have when I start a new thing:
uneasy and slightly deep wet voice whispering in my head, 'run away!'.
(you know, usual thing you perhaps also had at the begging of the new semester)
I was worried. I was worried about my new job, my new life in Tokyo, worried about the hectic train ride, and all the other rubbish.
then what happened? bang, God brought me this passage above in the Bible at the church.it was a God's mercy that saved me, and guided me to this path.
There is nothing that I could've done to make it till this point, and to be honest,
I even tried to prevent somehow not to have this job (wage is low, and I need to be in Tokyo.....leaving Okinawa and family is unimaginably hard for some people).
but God gave me this job. I cannot find words to express how weak I am, how terrible person I am.
I even tried to block what God was planning me. and the truth is, He is powerful.
Of course He is. He created everything. how foolish am I, trying to fight with Him?
He brought me back to his place. My worries are now almost gone.
It's Him who gave me this job, what I can do is just to do whatever I need to do, with all my heart, all my soul, all my mind and all my strength. Thank You Lord!

I didnt share this to anyone at the church, i want to keep it inside of me.
just like a specific memory with someone you care, that are too precious you need to keep it in you.
[PR]
# by pussochkram85 | 2010-09-05 21:57 | 神と歩む